The QA Chronicles: writers worth reading
Posted on Apr 23, 2016 by Louise Blackwick
This week we wish to feature a gifted writer in the person of a brilliant young man. Mohamed Irfan is an emerging writer whose touching work has won win praise in multiple literary contests. Inspired by real life experiences, Irfan shapes a colourful world, teeming with emotion, abundant imagery and the richness Indian culture.
For more writing samples, visit Irfan's private blog.
Attached below is a snippet into Irfan's freewriting world.
Note: All texts are part of the intellectual property of the author. No part of the text is to be published or distributed without expressed permission of the author. All rights reserved to Mohamed Irfan.
Topic: Asteroid is heading towards Earth. Write what follows. Use sarcasm or irony
Author: Mohamed Irfan
Ah! There! Finally! I had been begging these nuts to believe my work!
Now they will know. Beyond a doubt! But what joy! And to think, this is the highlight of my day. Hmm! I see Arthur has left his keys inside his car. Should I tell him? Oh well, why bother? Its all over anyway.
Its amazing. We fight so much for little things. And in a few hours, it would have all been worthless. Maybe I shouldn't have broken up with Sarah yesterday? Am I going to die a virgin? Hmm, That’s a pity. Its sad considering that I spent all my weekends providing marriage counsel. It took two wars to finally bring peace to the Middle East. Hmpf! All’s in the bin now. A part of me is glad it is over though. Futile strifes, futile diplomacy, futile losses. All erased from history in a few moments.
Who would populate the Earth now? Should I save something from our legacy! Well, the only good thing that happened here was pepperoni pizza! God! I wish I had one now! Maybe I could save the recipe for the next evolutionary organisms! Or maybe there wont be any more people now. Would we be the last of us? What would the astronauts now in space come back to? A barren earth devoid of resources? An empty plate? A clean slate?
Oh well! I wont be here anyway. Why bother?
Topic: Freewriting exercise (April, 23, 2016) Write 10 lines of dialog between you and someone who grinds your gears.
Author: Mohamed Irfan
"Me: Have you talked to the bus company?
Him: No. I will be doing it tomorrow!
Me: Didn't you promise to finalise the quote today?
Him: Yes. But we have enough time for the event. So I will do it tomorrow.
Me: Dude! You have been saying this for the past two weeks. You do realise being a part of the team requires you to contribute more than just one thing.
Him: Yes. Ok!
Me: I would appreciate it if you took the courtesy to let the others know if are not able to complete any task. We could redistribute the task among the team. You should be more expressive in the team meetings and not make it hard for others.
Him: Oh well, then I guess I might need some help. I have been really busy with my courses.
Me: It’s a pity that you do not deal with this professionally. Good luck for your courses. We will find others to take on this task.
Topic: You are a superhero who is paid minimum wage. Use Satire.
Author: Mohamed Irfan
This is Superman.
I am writing this to let you know that you have failed me collectively. I am leaving this earth. Are you surprised? I hope you aren’t. You make me fly across the world according to your whims and you pay me minimum wage!
Minimum wage! Seriously? Minimum Wage?? Has it sunk in? No? Let me make it clear! The nuclear disaster I prevented last week saved your government more money that I could make in 50 lifetimes! Working for 100 years in each. And what did I get? A box of cheese and crackers! What am I? Your least favourite son?
And oh, don’t get me started into the details of my work hours! How can you expect me to show compassion to everyone when you show me none! When you demean me every time! And the moronic hours logging system never works when I need it to! Of course, why would your miserable people spend any money to maintain a system that has only one user? Do you know I earned more in two months working in the Mafia then I did working for the government for a year?
Yes of course! I did work for the Mafia! But how would you understand? When you could be so dumb that all I need is a pair of glasses to disguise myself! These issues must be heavy for your puny mind.Do you know how many sick leaves I get in a month? ONE! Do you know how many days I get shot at? EVERY SINGLE DAY!! I am tired waiting for your president to hear me out! I have a life too! Rather I had one, before you found out about me!
People are so quick to call for help and quicker to dismiss me, when I need them! I cannot take this any longer! I tried reaching out! Nobody cared! Well, here I go! Adios! Am never coming back to this wretched EARTH!!
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